The concept of neurodiversity is extended to mental health, education, faith-based services, publishing, and advocacy. Mental health should provide specialized support for neurodivergent individuals and families while training professionals to address unique relationship dynamics. The education sector focuses on inclusive practices that support neurodivergent students and foster collaboration between schools and families. Faith-based services focus on creating inclusive spiritual environments and equipping leaders to support neurodiverse relationships. Publishing and media raise awareness through books, podcasts, and videos, while nonprofits advocate for neurodiverse communities, providing training and resources to bridge gaps in understanding and support. Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes is a former licensed professional counselor (LPC), now educator, author, and advocate specializing in autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and neurodiverse relationships. She is the co-founder of the International Association of NeuroDiverse Christian Marriages and combines her personal experience with professional expertise to empower individuals, couples, and families to navigate neurodiversity. Dr. Holmes works to provide resources, training, and education toward understanding and inclusion across communities and industries.

Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes: Pioneering Advocacy for Neurodiverse Relationships

Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes is a passionate advocate, counselor, and educator committed to reimagining how society understands and supports neurodivergent individuals and neurodiverse relationships. Her work as co-founder of the International Association of NeuroDiverse Christian Marriages, LLC, has given way to a legacy of empowerment and education as she has inspired countless individuals, families, and professionals to embrace the complexities and beauty of neurodiversity. Her mission is deeply personal, rooted in her own family’s experiences in navigating autism spectrum disorder and neurodiverse dynamics. This combination of personal insight and professional expertise has driven her to create resources, tools, and initiatives that foster understanding, inclusion, and growth within families and communities.

Dr. Holmes’ journey into the world of autism and neurodiverse relationships began not as a professional endeavor but as a personal quest to support her family. She recalls, “Have you heard ‘necessity is the motherhood of invention?’ My mother was struggling back when autism or the spectrum was seen mostly to be ‘a boy’s issue,’ and it was believed the diagnosis rate was 10 to 1 boys to girls. I had a daughter who would be diagnosed, and honestly, the resources for help were not great!”

This lack of resources for her daughter galvanized Dr. Holmes into action. She took the arduous road of self-study, seeking out the latest research, tools, and strategies to advocate for her daughter’s needs, particularly within the public school system. What started as a mother’s determination to secure the best for her child soon evolved into a professional calling, leading Dr. Holmes to dedicate her career to helping other families facing similar challenges.

Turning Personal Experience into Professional Expertise

The work of Dr. Holmes, both as a counselor and an educator, has been guided by the belief that every individual on the autism spectrum is unique. This guiding principle has shaped her approach to counseling, life, marital coaching and her broader advocacy efforts, allowing her to address the specific needs and strengths of each neurodiverse individual and family. One of Dr. Holmes’s early realizations was the lack of understanding and support for neurodiverse couples. “Many couples may be neurodiverse and not even know it,” she explains. “Many clinicians may be working with neurodiverse couples and not even know it.” Her mission became clear: to bridge this gap in understanding and provide tools and education to both couples and the professionals who support them.

One of the most powerful elements in the advocacy Dr. Holmes carries out is her ability to blend personal experiences with professional insight. In December of 2023, she and her family released Embracing the Autism Spectrum: Finding Hope & Joy in Navigating the NeuroDiverse Family Journey. Written together with her husband Dan and their two neurodivergent daughters, Sydney and Erica, the book offers a multi-dimensional perspective into their family’s experiences.

“We wanted to share our story to highlight sibling dynamics, and individual perspectives, and offer practical tips for families,” Dr. Holmes shares. This project is unique in its approach, combining personal narratives with actionable advice and a wealth of resources for parents and couples navigating similar journeys.

The family’s collaboration doesn’t stop there. In March 2025, Dr. Holmes with contributing authors in the neurodivergent space will release Uniquely Us: Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage through Morgan James Publishers. This book draws from her extensive research, professional experience, and personal insights, offering a comprehensive guide for neurodiverse couples and the professionals who work with them. The book includes contributions from other experts in the field, making it a valuable resource for anyone seeking to understand or support neurodiverse relationships.

Expanding the Scope of Advocacy 

In addition to her books, Dr. Holmes participates in several ongoing projects in an effort to improve understanding and support for neurodiverse individuals. She is currently working on an academic journal article exploring the importance of social skills, relationships, and belonging for students with autism in the school system.

She is also working on a new book based on her dissertation research about strategies to include students on the autism spectrum better in public schools with a foreword by Dr. Temple Grandin. The project aims to close the gap between educators and parents, fostering collaboration to ensure that students receive the support they need to thrive. She continues to establish a supportive and empowering environment for neurodiverse couples and families. Its mission is to “empower each individual and family to become responsibly independent and effectively interdependent through Christ’s love in serving worthy purposes in family, community, and society.

The association will focus on equipping clergy, counselors, chaplains, clinical professionals, and lay leaders with that which is needed to best support neurodivergent individuals and neurodiverse relationships. This involves creating faith-based educational activities, resources, and training programs designed to promote stronger marriages and families.

Dr. Holmes and her husband, also a Master Life Coach have also created a course to accompany Uniquely Us, designed to train professionals to work effectively with neurodiverse couples. The association also produces a weekly podcast with almost 200,000 downloads in over 35 countries. Supplementing this are regular blog posts and YouTube videos all designed to provide valuable insights and resources.

Overcoming Resistance and Challenges

Despite her successes, Dr. Holmes has faced significant challenges in her advocacy work. One of the biggest hurdles has been raising awareness within the faith-based community and the medical field. “Medical doctors still want to focus on diagnosis or disordered thinking and fixing and curing,” she explains. “The spiritual spaces want to be ableist and overcoming or sin-focused, and both of these are problematic.”

To tackle these challenges, Dr. Holmes proposes a balanced approach: one that would recognize the strengths and challenges of neurodivergent individuals. She argues for looking at each individual as unique and moving away from one-size-fits-all stories toward tailored strategies for support and growth. A key focus of Dr. Holmes’s work is addressing what she calls the “lost generation,” adults who remain undiagnosed or are diagnosed later in life due to changing diagnostic criteria with professionals still not being aware of variations or what autism looks like in adults. Research conducted by Dr. Holmes and her team revealed that over 80% of the 108 individuals surveyed were diagnosed after the age of 30. This finding highlights the critical need for training professionals to recognize and support neurodiverse individuals and couples. “Untrained helpers cause harm, not good,” Dr. Holmes asserts. Her mission is to equip clinicians, counselors, and other professionals with the skills they need to make a positive impact.

Words of Wisdom: Advice to Aspiring Consultants

For those looking to specialize in neurodiverse relationships, Dr. Holmes offers sage advice: “Dr. Shore says, ‘When you have met one person with autism, you have met one person with autism.’ Educators, clinicians, doctors, and society need to understand that autism is a spectrum with many presentations.” She urges all professionals to widen their knowledge and skill bases, insisting on the fact that only by doing so can the gaps in communication between the neurodivergent and neurotypical be mended, and thus relations and community among those can be reinforced.

Dr. Holmes’ work is about much more than the immediate obstacles; it is about leaving a lasting legacy of empowerment and understanding. Through her books, courses, and advocacy initiatives, she builds a foundation for a society that is more inclusive and supportive. Her vision extends to training the next generation of professionals, ensuring they are equipped to meet the needs of neurodiverse individuals and families. Such awareness and understanding will make way for a future in which neurodiversity is celebrated and supported.

A Lasting Impact

Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes is a real pioneer in the area of neurodiverse relationships, using her own life experiences to bring about change. Her tireless work in raising awareness, providing practical resources, and fostering inclusion has changed countless lives, offering hope and empowerment to individuals, couples, and families.

Through her work with the International Association of NeuroDiverse Christian Marriages and her broader advocacy efforts, Dr. Holmes continues to inspire and educate. Her tireless commitment to understanding and celebration of neurodiversity will ensure her impact is felt for generations to come. This legacy of advocacy, education, and empowerment testifies to Dr. Holmes’s vision and tenacity, showing that even out of the most personal struggles can come a movement in the world for change to be meaningful and lasting.